Leave Bitterness To Its Owners

Remember all that talk in 2004 about how many people were moving to Canada if Bush won again? And remember how they didn't, and how they continued to infest our country with their hippie rage and discontent?

Of course you do. It was the underpinning of the American Left for the last four years. The bumper sticker that said "If you're not outraged, you're not paying attention" was like holy scripture, and damn if they didn't live by it. I think we all remember the moonbattery, the preposterously colored costumes, the paper mache puppets, and the sudden resurgence of white females wearing dirty dreadlocks. But it's important to remember something here, especially now.

All of those lunatic, mind-bent people were wearing their bitterness and anger just like they were wearing that stilt costume of Bush dressed as an oil-sucking vampire. It became all they had for a very long time, and it defined their character too.

Let's not do that. I don't want to see conservatives and thoughtful libertarians out in the street wearing feather boas and speedos because they're upset about having a Democrat in office. We owe it to ourselves to leave that territory for the hippies so that in the next 4 years, we can still find something to laugh at.

So to all those conservatives and independents talking about moving to Canada: put the puppets down. You don't really want what comes with that anyway.